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cookiesFTW

Offline (the 12/15/2014 at 1:50pm) | Search for a member

cookiesFTW

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3481
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:05pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:08pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:11am<b>Bukowskiwasanass</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 4:32pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:32am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:06am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:44pm<b>yasmineseijmon</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:09pm<b>tyger_devlin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:17pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:12pm<b>CottonCandyQueen</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:08pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:39pm<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:03am<b>dmblonde</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:18am

Liked!<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18723) - you deserved it (42039)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML

#18425208
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24955) - you deserved it (23223)

On 12/04/2011 at 3:36am - love - by lifesucksbigtimefuys - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31406) - you deserved it (3786)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (3426)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

#18391386
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36082) - you deserved it (8168)

On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35067) - you deserved it (5307)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42697) - you deserved it (4482)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

#18374198
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48784) - you deserved it (3763)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

#18374198
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48784) - you deserved it (3763)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML

#18343392
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31742) - you deserved it (3992)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Jessie - United States

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46589) - you deserved it (4381)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45098) - you deserved it (7023)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML

#18316654
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41500) - you deserved it (7662)

On 11/22/2011 at 1:06pm - health - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my husband once again looking at half naked pictures of a friend of mine on Facebook. When I asked why he did it, he said "I was checking to see if they were still there." FML

#18296145
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (4602)

On 11/20/2011 at 6:31am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35141) - you deserved it (8164)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved



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