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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12948) - you deserved it (57181)
On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18247) - you deserved it (31115)
On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30660) - you deserved it (7578)
On 05/02/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by ohtheshame -
Today, I realized that the black leggings I wear quite often become see-through when I bend over. I have been showing the world my ass as well as my thong for over a month now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8542) - you deserved it (38354)
On 05/02/2011 at 2:39am - misc - by ChrissySoltys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8980) - you deserved it (22444)
On 05/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by alchy (woman) - United States
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12483) - you deserved it (39605)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45769) - you deserved it (4518)
On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11919) - you deserved it (30611)
On 05/01/2011 at 4:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, the lease on my house ended and I finished moving in with my girlfriend. After everything was moved in, she broke up with me. Hello homelessness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31732) - you deserved it (2819)
On 04/30/2011 at 11:16pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (3856)
On 04/30/2011 at 8:19pm - misc - by Tara (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (7552)
On 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while hiking, my dad decided we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. We got to the bottom of the mountain when we discovered it was the wrong side of the mountain. We had to hike 13 extra miles around it to get back to our car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21144) - you deserved it (4311)
On 04/27/2011 at 10:43pm - misc - by lostinthewoods (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56982) - you deserved it (5786)
On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25938) - you deserved it (2590)
On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -
Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (4560)
On 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by notimpressed (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Monday 20 May 2013
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