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cookies61889

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3635
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookies61889 : Message me I always like talking to people
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cookies61889's favorite FMLs

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110534) - you deserved it (15418)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

#16160002
532 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35534) - you deserved it (18848)

On 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom said she wanted me to get laser eye surgery before she did, "Just in case it isn't safe." FML

#16158783
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (2646)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by samadams42 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33597) - you deserved it (11182)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -

Today, I blacked out going up a roller coaster. Instead of helping me, my friend took pictures of my face and posted them on Facebook. FML

#16106237
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30575) - you deserved it (6798)

On 05/09/2011 at 4:30pm - misc - by starcatch777 - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41378) - you deserved it (17436)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14074) - you deserved it (83544)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13011) - you deserved it (56208)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my husband told me that he's letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother-in-law so much that I'm contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML

#16040726
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41158) - you deserved it (7521)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:41am - misc - by kayt240 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML

#16040668
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9786) - you deserved it (80908)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:33am - love - by Cuppycake (woman) - Canada

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

#16028485
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24968) - you deserved it (25214)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:22am - misc - by AE86Turbo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

#16025758
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33558) - you deserved it (9038)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by kimftwxox - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

#16024989
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (3914)

On 05/02/2011 at 9:41pm - health - by wtf1234 - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in sexual activity anymore because it is getting too boring. FML

#16020666
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33571) - you deserved it (16178)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by beaverless - United States (Georgia)



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