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cookies61889

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3647
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookies61889 : Message me I always like talking to people
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cookies61889's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

#16551400
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (7706)

On 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm - work - by Bee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook and changed our relationship status to single just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

#16550492
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37710) - you deserved it (5761)

On 06/07/2011 at 7:09pm - love - by fmfb - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38573) - you deserved it (10465)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46390) - you deserved it (11900)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11377) - you deserved it (25549)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

#16534562
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14712) - you deserved it (54587)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

#16531117
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12643) - you deserved it (49461)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm - love - by Someguy (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML

#16530015
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42984) - you deserved it (6570)

On 06/06/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by JayFri - United States

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

#16525233
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33073) - you deserved it (6299)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (41355)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

#16512093
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51457) - you deserved it (7455)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10820) - you deserved it (109992)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44036) - you deserved it (3263)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43375) - you deserved it (4579)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

#16480060
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35256) - you deserved it (3106)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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