Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cookies61889

Search for a member

cookies61889

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3728
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookies61889 : Message me I always like talking to people
Kik:cookies61889

cookies61889's page activity

Visits<b>Connerm</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:28am<b>Alpha21X</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:09pm<b>IrishKelp</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 7:08pm<b>erinlindon</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Crlnprz</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:23am<b>Bola2nv</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 5:28pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Haannahhh</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:59pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:05am<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:56pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 3:25am<b>DevilsAltair</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:53pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 3:55pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 4:10am<b>catella</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 11:59pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Sydd1799</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:07pm

cookies61889's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cookies61889's badges

cookies61889's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend sent me a video of him having sex with someone from one of his last relationships because he thought it would turn me on. FML

Today, I invited over my best friend, whom I've loved for over a year, since she had to tell me "something important". I got excited and thought she was going to tell me she loved me too. She ended up coming out to me, and wanted to know if I would meet her girlfriend. FML

#16661429
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (5348)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by :( (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML

#16648557
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44056) - you deserved it (4352)

On 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm - money - by sarahwittman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

#16628942
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (9792)

On 06/12/2011 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12029) - you deserved it (53508)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

#16624157
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35424) - you deserved it (7366)

On 06/12/2011 at 7:46am - work - by FreshFaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

#16619951
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42832) - you deserved it (6206)

On 06/12/2011 at 12:21am - love - by daddylove - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39677) - you deserved it (5001)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

#16606089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (2995)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML

#16605996
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you deserved it (5713)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by mbesameh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (6419)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad was given 2 VIP tickets to see my favourite band in concert next week. You can now find them on eBay. FML

#16560857
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (3756)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by cheersdaddy (woman) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

#16560118
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (3120)

On 06/08/2011 at 9:03am - work - by iloveyoutoomom (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

#16556995
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44355) - you deserved it (12922)

On 06/08/2011 at 1:21am - intimacy - by kimboslice106 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50157) - you deserved it (3440)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: