Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cookies61889

Search for a member

cookies61889

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3760
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookies61889 : Message me I always like talking to people
Kik:cookies61889

cookies61889's page activity

Visits<b>Connerm</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:28am<b>Alpha21X</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:09pm<b>IrishKelp</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 7:08pm<b>erinlindon</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Crlnprz</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:23am<b>Bola2nv</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 5:28pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Haannahhh</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:59pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:05am<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:56pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 3:25am<b>DevilsAltair</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:53pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 3:55pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 4:10am<b>catella</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 11:59pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Sydd1799</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:07pm

cookies61889's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cookies61889's badges

cookies61889's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8940) - you deserved it (115133)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

#54872
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42162) - you deserved it (4401)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by IBleedArbor - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: