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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (2453)
On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23420) - you deserved it (3514)
On 03/24/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by chi_chia - United States (Ohio)
Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33813) - you deserved it (7757)
On 03/23/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by Cxisbest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (8489)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)
Today, I quit my job and sent a mass mail on Facebook that I was moving to a different state with my long time boyfriend. He called me later that night to tell me we aren't moving after all. Now we are both jobless with loads of bills to pay by the end of the month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22785) - you deserved it (16010)
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13582) - you deserved it (22976)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by Cuzles (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25017) - you deserved it (3077)
On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -
Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23909) - you deserved it (2147)
On 03/23/2011 at 10:58am - misc - by jeanstein -
Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23909) - you deserved it (2147)
On 03/23/2011 at 10:58am - misc - by jeanstein -
Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18492) - you deserved it (49005)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (2877)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:02am - love - by lily389 -
Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14878) - you deserved it (4671)
On 01/11/2011 at 9:45am - work - by bitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16221) - you deserved it (6610)
On 12/18/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly told me it was sexy, so I continued while making obscene gestures and moans. Suddenly he began to look nervous. I turned around to see my dad looking at me, disgusted and confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5711) - you deserved it (16092)
On 11/25/2009 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by NotSoSexy (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and I on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (6777)
On 09/05/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by uglychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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