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cookies61889

Offline (the 03/03/2015 at 5:10am) | Search for a member

cookies61889

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5029
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookies61889 : Message me I always like talking to people
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cookies61889's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16081) - you deserved it (45755)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (45297)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

#15582490
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52009) - you deserved it (5502)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by paige - United States (Ohio)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71837) - you deserved it (9850)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33588) - you deserved it (4828)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (54496) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42200) - you deserved it (28719)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML

#15501357
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55584) - you deserved it (11102)

On 03/26/2011 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

#15500531
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (2803)

On 03/26/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by burntloyalty - United States

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46716) - you deserved it (7400)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML

#15493619
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32638) - you deserved it (16288)

On 03/26/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

#15486650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8830) - you deserved it (54509)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by freshman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

#15485596
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24441) - you deserved it (9444)

On 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm - animals - by fish killer - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML

#15473081
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53701) - you deserved it (4143)

On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50173) - you deserved it (8175)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)



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