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cookies61889

Offline (the 03/03/2015 at 5:10am) | Search for a member

cookies61889

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4893
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookies61889 : Message me I always like talking to people
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cookies61889's favorite FMLs

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
779 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67059) - you deserved it (14103)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

#15741479
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45600) - you deserved it (6526)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (68045)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said "see you in Kansas". FML

#15733028
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25082) - you deserved it (7523)

On 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by anonymous -

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27157) - you deserved it (3542)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML

#15714143
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21721) - you deserved it (29203)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Arran (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

#15689695
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14182) - you deserved it (39567)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -

Today, the company I work for decided to "go green" and stopped using the air conditioner to cool down the office. It is currently 81 degrees at my desk. FML

#15681231
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (4406)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:55pm - work - by Dave (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (4941)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication due to the high level of stress that I experience at my job. Unfortunately, I cannot afford the medication because I do not make enough money at said job. FML

#15658999
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30467) - you deserved it (3856)

On 04/05/2011 at 11:26pm - money - by Username -

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

#15630869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41203) - you deserved it (4277)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:26am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47023) - you deserved it (13926)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47023) - you deserved it (13926)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49634) - you deserved it (5866)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

#15607773
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28978) - you deserved it (4667)

On 04/02/2011 at 5:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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