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cookies61889

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3541
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookies61889 : Message me I always like talking to people
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cookies61889's favorite FMLs

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

#17022194
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34414) - you deserved it (3037)

On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

#17012885
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (5468)

On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

#17001302
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8479) - you deserved it (71837)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

#16957068
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14203) - you deserved it (42981)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he'd resolved all the issues with his ex and is getting back together with her. Normally I could tolerate this if it weren't for the fact that I just moved to a different country to live with him, and turned down a university and a scholarship. FML

#16894296
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (52700)

On 06/28/2011 at 5:53am - love - by Mrs.Slyfox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54991) - you deserved it (7103)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

#16876120
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46964) - you deserved it (6385)

On 06/27/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by grizzlybear (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

#16868176
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32797) - you deserved it (8198)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38754) - you deserved it (15595)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML

#16817769
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9632) - you deserved it (43854)

On 06/23/2011 at 2:56pm - health - by run4fun (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML

#16812324
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30939) - you deserved it (2208)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:17am - money - by Username - United States

Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML

#16801509
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30330) - you deserved it (2567)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:05pm - money - by knevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46332) - you deserved it (7184)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

#16779539
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (4368)

On 06/21/2011 at 10:49am - misc - by seaweedlady - United States

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

#16778236
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (6674)

On 06/21/2011 at 7:52am - love - by anon - United States



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