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cookies61889

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4026
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookies61889 : Message me I always like talking to people
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cookies61889's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41126) - you deserved it (16619)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (5256)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

#17503951
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (6099)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10385) - you deserved it (24236)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48183) - you deserved it (7819)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

#17153294
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44001) - you deserved it (3880)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Cinnamon (man) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

#17139539
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10908) - you deserved it (41527)

On 07/16/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

#17115865
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (9225)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML

#17099687
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (6224)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:44pm - love - by skidoosh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
511 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132233) - you deserved it (7358)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73802) - you deserved it (7691)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13310) - you deserved it (52260)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31925) - you deserved it (3122)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

#17023153
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52933) - you deserved it (10550)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

#17023007
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34560) - you deserved it (3436)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States



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