Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cookies61889

Search for a member

cookies61889

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3815
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookies61889 : Message me I always like talking to people
Kik:cookies61889

cookies61889's page activity

Visits<b>epic174</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 7:12am<b>Connerm</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:28am<b>Alpha21X</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:09pm<b>IrishKelp</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 7:08pm<b>erinlindon</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Crlnprz</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:23am<b>Bola2nv</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 5:28pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Haannahhh</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:59pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:05am<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:56pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 3:25am<b>DevilsAltair</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:53pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 3:55pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 4:10am<b>catella</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 11:59pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 3:49pm

cookies61889's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cookies61889's badges

cookies61889's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41059) - you deserved it (16597)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (5250)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

#17503951
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29468) - you deserved it (6097)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (24193)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48122) - you deserved it (7813)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

#17153294
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43934) - you deserved it (3876)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Cinnamon (man) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

#17139539
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10770) - you deserved it (41232)

On 07/16/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

#17115865
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42644) - you deserved it (9217)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML

#17099687
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (6219)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:44pm - love - by skidoosh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131650) - you deserved it (7340)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73700) - you deserved it (7683)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13289) - you deserved it (52200)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31873) - you deserved it (3118)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

#17023153
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52845) - you deserved it (10539)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

#17023007
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34500) - you deserved it (3433)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: