Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cookies61889

Search for a member

cookies61889

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3722
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookies61889 : Message me I always like talking to people
Kik:cookies61889

cookies61889's page activity

Visits<b>Connerm</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:28am<b>Alpha21X</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:09pm<b>IrishKelp</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 7:08pm<b>erinlindon</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Crlnprz</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:23am<b>Bola2nv</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 5:28pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Haannahhh</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:59pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:05am<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:56pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 3:25am<b>DevilsAltair</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:53pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 3:55pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 4:10am<b>catella</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 11:59pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Sydd1799</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:07pm

cookies61889's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cookies61889's badges

cookies61889's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41053) - you deserved it (16595)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (5250)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

#17503951
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29465) - you deserved it (6097)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10362) - you deserved it (24186)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48115) - you deserved it (7813)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

#17153294
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43924) - you deserved it (3876)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Cinnamon (man) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

#17139539
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10765) - you deserved it (41221)

On 07/16/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

#17115865
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42627) - you deserved it (9217)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML

#17099687
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (6217)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:44pm - love - by skidoosh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131494) - you deserved it (7341)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73683) - you deserved it (7678)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13288) - you deserved it (52188)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (3117)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

#17023153
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52826) - you deserved it (10536)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

#17023007
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34493) - you deserved it (3433)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: