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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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cookiemonsterluv

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cookiemonsterluv
  • Town/Country : sacramento, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 July 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 195
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cookiemonsterluv's favorite FMLs

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (30173) - you deserved it (18558)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

#17252613 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (24241) - you deserved it (2123)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (30736) - you deserved it (8511)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (373032) - you deserved it (413110)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (753753) - you deserved it (63733)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (1009)

I agree, your life sucks (445989) - you deserved it (32708)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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