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  • Number of visits : 1375
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cookie_3008's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

#18271513
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37675) - you deserved it (5484)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

#18254256
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26025) - you deserved it (15455)

On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36648) - you deserved it (3158)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (37040)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (2205)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML

#17192528
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/20/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by Stacy Dee - United States

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52446) - you deserved it (16512)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57150) - you deserved it (17193)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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