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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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connalH

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connalH
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 December 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 413
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About connalH : connal/con/conpie/coon/coon cheese/connex/connaître/coco/cee/CC
I don't play an instrument, but i DO play air guitar.
AFL is the most legendary sport invented, and if you don't like it, please wait right here while i go get my axe.

to my pal pog:
i love you like alcoholics love beer.
You're my wonderful bestest pal. You make me insane and you make me feel like there's someone there for me all of the time XD
i like that i can tell you EVERYTHING! and that together we make terribly boring situations [eg. going to crazy antique stores] completely mental and FUN.
i like french.
i like bonbons.
i like the football.
i like playing air guitar.
i like CONDEMENTS!
and mostly I LIKE POLLY GRANT BUTLER.


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connalH's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (4939)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (11229) - you deserved it (24577)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

#4207325 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (43382) - you deserved it (9120)

On 08/01/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Maria39018 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML

#4172225 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (12951)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (37742) - you deserved it (2712)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

#4155760 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (8281) - you deserved it (25055)

On 07/30/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

#4147298 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (2811)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

#4127495 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (11935) - you deserved it (33717)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

#4126370 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (43136) - you deserved it (1685)

On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

#4102567 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (5402) - you deserved it (77051)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

#4081903 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (33234) - you deserved it (6573)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81746) - you deserved it (24052)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (68941) - you deserved it (32611)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (91764) - you deserved it (7456)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764 (400)

I agree, your life sucks (104651) - you deserved it (4035)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)