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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 July 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1972
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About confusedAsFuck : Apparently, my dick wants to whack her

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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confusedAsFuck's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48231) - you deserved it (20296)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61336) - you deserved it (15273)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58847) - you deserved it (4616)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:11am - health - by mcdonalds - United States

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (9314)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by WhoaThere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML


I agree, your life sucks (236465) - you deserved it (14693)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (299318) - you deserved it (162751)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (391685) - you deserved it (20604)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (456321) - you deserved it (65515)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (292888) - you deserved it (19736)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to have a sperm analysis done at the fertility clinic. I spent an hour trying to masturbate into a cup but I was too anxious and couldn't finish. There was a knock on the door, a clinician and a lab assistant both were there, wondering if I was ok. I have to go back next week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59529) - you deserved it (8275)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by alpine75 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML


I agree, your life sucks (515409) - you deserved it (33030)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (758607) - you deserved it (62264)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

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