confizzled

Search for a member

confizzled

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 July 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1738
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About confizzled : PAYNUS

confizzled's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 2:52pm<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 7:14pm<b>LORDLYPSO</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:05pm<b>valavellan</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:18am<b>NikkiRainbow63</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:06pm<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:31am<b>darrend1196</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:40am<b>Slasher2977</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:04am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:33pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:30am<b>spignona84</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 11:10pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 6:09pm<b>luckyone365</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 7:13pm<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 2:41pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 2:37am<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 6:16pm<b>princessSLPS16</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 9:18pm<b>27BronxBombers</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 8:49pm

confizzled's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

confizzled's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

by TheMichaelNixon / 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

by luvizwar / 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

by luvizwar / 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

by sunburychick / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

by callerid / 08/03/2009 at 7:45am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

by arsenic660 / 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML

by alwaysxgettingxshitxon / 07/02/2009 at 8:18pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

by Dirtyswede / 06/17/2009 at 10:57am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

by TeeJay / 06/01/2009 at 10:06am / United States (New York) / Intimacy