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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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confizzled

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confizzled
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 July 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 967
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About confizzled : PAYNUS

confizzled's last visitors

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confizzled's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (16820) - you deserved it (7205)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

#9037172 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (1694)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:14am - love - by botharebad (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (3573) - you deserved it (13335)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my grandma told me to f*** off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (4417)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (18649) - you deserved it (4877)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got an email from the Law School Admissions Council saying that they received my request for my LSAT cancellation and they are confirming that it has been cancelled. The email also said the score will not be reinstated for any reason. I never requested for my score to be cancelled. FML

#6751692 (27)

I agree, your life sucks (20145) - you deserved it (1118)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:20pm - misc - by dahlia87 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (45042) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (6007) - you deserved it (30979)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57270) - you deserved it (8514)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

#6421239 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (2805)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

#6378888 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (32450) - you deserved it (4531)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (4490) - you deserved it (47674)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (1954)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)