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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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concept
  • Town/Country : Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 April 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 8535
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About concept : Names Ryan. I skate.

concept's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

concept's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52116) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (42996) - you deserved it (2238)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

#4627317 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (14361) - you deserved it (46834)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (50609) - you deserved it (6827)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (52650) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81745) - you deserved it (24052)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (63753) - you deserved it (4386)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

#3791674 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (64061) - you deserved it (2420)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (35665) - you deserved it (6002)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

#3763600 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (9044) - you deserved it (44333)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (53130) - you deserved it (2396)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (97747)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)