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comparedmidget

Offline (the 11/11/2014 at 3:05am) | Search for a member

comparedmidget

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  • Number of visits : 252
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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comparedmidget's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

comparedmidget's favorite FMLs

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

#19222051
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (9350)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Alfie4 (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

#18886629
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25077) - you deserved it (2212)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by michellenKG (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (34935)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML

#18565836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (2526)

On 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm - work - by Thomas - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19322) - you deserved it (17573)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

#18431842
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7928) - you deserved it (65688)

On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16615) - you deserved it (24127)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

#17925630
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (1964)

On 10/07/2011 at 1:55am - work - by bdjsbskl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

#17919835
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11514) - you deserved it (31311)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10322) - you deserved it (34303)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37788) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML

#17726207
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35267) - you deserved it (2055)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:36am - money - by Me - United States

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10276) - you deserved it (47117)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML



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