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comparedmidget

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comparedmidget

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  • Number of visits : 202
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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comparedmidget's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

comparedmidget's favorite FMLs

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94984) - you deserved it (38911)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

#952639
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (53066)

On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38511) - you deserved it (129302)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (175984) - you deserved it (11866)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81742) - you deserved it (16164)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84203) - you deserved it (31455)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (96595)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

#208804
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50844) - you deserved it (8275)

On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

#81236
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44097) - you deserved it (22626)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

#5784
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (38579)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by screwed. - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

#4050
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (4240)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by JulleandCici - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44092) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (6600)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version



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