About commedia : Theatre geek who leans towards cynicism and writing lame stories.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8168) - you deserved it (13015)
On 10/06/2012 at 4:58am - misc - by Valentine_Beauty (woman) - United States
Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (1335)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:49am - love - by BusinessTurtle - United States (Iowa)
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (2909) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23177) - you deserved it (3054) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19728) - you deserved it (2636)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14177) - you deserved it (24766)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18494) - you deserved it (1613)
On 03/19/2012 at 3:20pm - health - by Shleebs (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (2564)
On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (4123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5694) - you deserved it (22137)
On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21600) - you deserved it (2184)
On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (4320)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16087) - you deserved it (3016)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States
Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18897) - you deserved it (1598)
On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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