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commedia

Offline (the 07/28/2014 at 5:55pm) | Search for a member

commedia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 800
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About commedia : Theatre geek who leans towards cynicism and writing lame stories.

commedia's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:48pm<b>cookiesFTW</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 3:14am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:39pm<b>emanresuruoy</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 3:55pm<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 7:28am<b>cnator</b> - the 12/01/2012 at 12:24am<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 01/02/2012 at 10:23pm

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50 favourites

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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commedia's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42143) - you deserved it (5613)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51724) - you deserved it (5010)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48539) - you deserved it (4412)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35624) - you deserved it (8371)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38157) - you deserved it (4311)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37300) - you deserved it (4948)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54363) - you deserved it (6009) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49737) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56003) - you deserved it (5628)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

#21013459
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35643) - you deserved it (3809)

On 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48708) - you deserved it (6438)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (2918)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43252) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)



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