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Offline (the 11/12/2016 at 4:59am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1846
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About colvindj : If you're actually taking the time to even read this don't bother, if you wanna know anything just message me. Not that hard right? If you mention The Story So Far, then you're amazing and yes that is a picture of bread you see.

colvindj's page activity

Visits<b>joshszz</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 10:51am<b>anak36</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 10:11pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 8:18pm<b>leafynitemare</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 5:36am<b>Chris_1414</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:35pm<b>TheDude992</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 2:18am<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 3:23am<b>maxyutd1</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 9:24am<b>Buckgirl26</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 12:05am<b>TheSiraffe</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 2:43am<b>leigh_xx</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:31pm<b>hayliebinner</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 9:51am<b>christinascudder</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 5:40pm<b>rosie165</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:44pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:57pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:41pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 2:14pm<b>bianca1016</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:44am

Fucked!<b>leafynitemare</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 11:37am<b>hayliebinner</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 3:52pm<b>christinascudder</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:41pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:22am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:48am<b>koganti</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:17am<b>paytenmarie</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:31am<b>Pr0fess0rWhat</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:41am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:09am<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:41pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:04pm<b>WassupAbby</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 8:15am<b>MelodySackett123</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:39am<b>blahblah005</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:31am<b>Girlshotdown1</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:29am<b>kattykat1</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:43am

colvindj's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


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Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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colvindj's favorite FMLs

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

by howprofessional / 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

by Retarded / 09/05/2013 at 2:57am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

by Poly24 / 08/27/2013 at 6:32am / Kids

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

by mcdonalds / 08/06/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Health

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

by WTF, America? / 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm / Sweden / Health

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous