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colton_colton

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colton_colton

171Fucked!

colton_coltoncolton_colton
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5558
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 46 posted

About colton_colton : No, the girl is not my kid, she's someone I watched at my church VBS, but i do love her :)
Feel free to message me, i usually always answer.

colton_colton's page activity

Visits<b>kokopuffs3</b> - yesterday at 3:18pm<b>rosieehernandez</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:07pm<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:46pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:50pm<b>natty11</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:06pm<b>914smv</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 10:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:33pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:53pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:16am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:25pm<b>Bruhjf</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:27pm<b>maliaxox</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:06pm<b>agk1999</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:56am<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 6:59pm<b>beccarey9</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Stephers_</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:56pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 5:21am<b>Ed1998</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 2:48am

Fucked!<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:34am<b>Bethaneey</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:17am<b>SourPatchTeen</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:12am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:32pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:49pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 6:03am<b>maheen_khan</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:34pm<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:56am<b>courtneylynn2464</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 4:29am<b>rookworst</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 10:02pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 5:19am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 2:56am<b>Emberrsky69</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:56am<b>mwali02</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 7:13am<b>sillysadness</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:26am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:05am<b>Anais457</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 11:45am

colton_colton's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of colton_colton's badges

colton_colton's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

#21495829
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24574) - you deserved it (5243)

On 11/23/2015 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Stuby14 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in just over an hour. You win this time, questionable pork souvlaki. FML

#21483925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (3547)

On 10/24/2015 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML

#21480741
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15504) - you deserved it (19970)

On 10/16/2015 at 12:03pm - misc - by not as easy as pie - United States (California)

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

#21474273
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (8644)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad's order of hair clippers arrived. I've been putting off getting a haircut for a while now, and he offered to give me one for free. Long story short, he managed to ruin the hair clippers, and I now look like a diseased palm tree. FML

#21472769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (3077)

On 09/25/2015 at 11:40pm - misc - by paaaallllmmmssss (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31466) - you deserved it (2850)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (4091)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17903) - you deserved it (33586)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

#21354162
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33400) - you deserved it (3453)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34405) - you deserved it (16113)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38082) - you deserved it (18402)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47411) - you deserved it (18344)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44332) - you deserved it (4959)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47328) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44095) - you deserved it (18435)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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