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colton_colton

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colton_colton

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colton_colton
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2370
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 40 posted

About colton_colton : Feel free to message me, this is my social life.

colton_colton's page activity

Visits<b>iceskata</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:38am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:23pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:01am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 4:45am<b>dontjudgeme14</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:21am<b>dariella</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:55am<b>mimii00</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:25am<b>Thorzix</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:05am<b>aspenkaramarie</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:04am<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:29pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:05pm<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:01pm<b>D_MacK480</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:53pm<b>blurrr8</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:44pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:42pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:33pm

Liked!<b>yo_mama_is_so</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 4:49am<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:19am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:20pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:18pm<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:27am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:53am<b>Annabomb</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:11am<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:47am<b>annequenneville</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:07am<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:07pm<b>mq97</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 12:13am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:18am<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:55pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:01am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:58am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:11am

colton_colton's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

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colton_colton's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (14448)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35704) - you deserved it (17138)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43631) - you deserved it (16584)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (4574)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43747) - you deserved it (3084)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41621) - you deserved it (17434)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

#21197152
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (24754)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:29am - money - by notacashier - United States (New York)

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

#21195344
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33892) - you deserved it (21200)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by wiifantcso (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43009) - you deserved it (6138)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37412) - you deserved it (5698)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52276) - you deserved it (5042)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
62 comments

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42356) - you deserved it (5545)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML



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