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colton_colton

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colton_colton

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1068
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About colton_colton : Ask me anything. I don't initiate first but will basically always respond.

colton_colton's page activity

Visits<b>ally_sanderson</b> - 2 minutes ago<b>jazlynnefaith</b> - one hour ago<b>ShortyJorty</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - 6 hours ago<b>AFaye3964</b> - 8 hours ago<b>johnfolk</b> - 11 hours ago<b>princesshaleigh</b> - 13 hours ago<b>killer0689</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Frenchie85000</b> - yesterday at 6:24pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - yesterday at 2:54pm<b>maxface</b> - yesterday at 12:36pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - yesterday at 12:05pm<b>Georgianonsense</b> - yesterday at 9:05am<b>Kyqk</b> - yesterday at 1:22am<b>christina3466</b> - yesterday at 12:50am<b>Blee864</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:08am<b>Miss_Attitude96</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:14pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:37pm

colton_colton's FML badges

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of colton_colton's badges

colton_colton's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43302) - you deserved it (3071)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (16641)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

#21197152
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34532) - you deserved it (24618)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:29am - money - by notacashier - United States (New York)

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

#21195344
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33753) - you deserved it (21116)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by wiifantcso (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42755) - you deserved it (6110)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (5682)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51084) - you deserved it (4987)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
62 comments

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42172) - you deserved it (5530)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41452) - you deserved it (4434)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41817) - you deserved it (3928)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46092) - you deserved it (7193)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38259) - you deserved it (3770)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland



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