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colorfullyemo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / United Arab Emirates / Kids
Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML
by testesential / 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
by nicoreal89 / 11/25/2011 at 3:20am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML
by Mike Polk / 10/03/2011 at 8:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ouch. / 09/25/2011 at 12:17am / United States (New York) / Work
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
by ugly / 07/10/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Transportation
by mongoosemike / 06/07/2011 at 1:55am / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm / United States / Intimacy
by Motionless / 05/26/2011 at 5:55am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML
by dontpanic / 09/21/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML
by ritz / 09/10/2009 at 10:15am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
- Today, I was working my job as a cashier and a big, sweaty, bald man came through my till. When the… Today, my fridge broke. So I quickly put everything to another fridge. It started working again. I… Today, a customer threw a cup of cole slaw at my face at the restaurant I work at for "not serving…