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Today , I took my last final on a Scantron seet wit 200 multiple coice questions , wit seconds to spare. Wen I finised te last question , I saw I ad anoter bubble to fill in and I didn't know were I screwed up. FML
TODAY, AT THE BLACK FRIDAY SALE, A FULLY GROWN MAN HIT MAH 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER 4 AN XBOX . IN ANGER, I PUNCHED THE GUY AND GAVE HIM A BLOODY NOSE . I'M NOW BANNED FROM BEST BUY, AND MAH DAUGHTER HAS A CONCUSSION . MEGA FML
Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down an basically waddled behind a wall to get past him . Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me . big fat FML
Today , I walked downstars , made a bowl of hot cereal , and held a full conversation with brother's grlfriend , before I finally putted two and two together and realized I hadn't putted any pants on. mega FML
Today, ma mom lookd troug ma browser istory and saw Catroulette. Se tougt I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me wen I explaind wat it really was. After I insistd on sowing er, te frst cat window to open containd cocks as far as te eye could see. FML
Today... mah girlfriend was getting up to leave and I... trying to be romantic... got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously... misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall... her head then bounced off the wall and into mah forehead... spraining her nose.
Todayhile My Grlfriend And I Were Getting It On , She Suddenly Stopped And Yelled ( STOP! ). I Stopped , Scared I'd Hurt Her. She Then Yelled ( HAMMER TIME! ) And Started To Dance. We Never Finished. FML
Today, I was laaving job at a huga mall. I couldn't find car anywhara, so I panickad an flaggad a sacurity officar. I criad whila ha drova ma around for milas in tha andlass parking lot. Than, suddanly, I ramambarad. My friand had droppad ma off in tha morning. FML
Friday 27 March 2015