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coleiab125's favorite FMLs
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
by snapped / 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, as I was driving to work, I got a flat tire. While attempting to replace said tire, I got mugged. The guy took all my money, my iPod, cellphone, and CDs. When I finally called my boss to explain my situation, he fired me. Why? Because I was late and had an "overactive imagination." FML
by LifeSucks / 11/07/2009 at 11:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by whatthef / 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML
by Halloweenie / 10/16/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals
Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by sunburychick / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by livin / 09/11/2009 at 2:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by GoodDog / 09/09/2009 at 9:21am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I found out that I was denied for work study eligibility by my college. I went to my financial advisor to ask why. It wasn't my grades or attendance. Apparently my father makes too much money for me to get a job at the school. My dad was fired 3 months ago and has been out of work since. FML
by SapphireRaven / 09/07/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by boohoo / 09/06/2009 at 10:21am / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML
by Lizzzyygurl / 09/02/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (Florida) / Money
by mrboston / 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML
by crookedteeth / 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Money
by CatLady / 08/24/2009 at 9:38am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…