This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (65565)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46387) - you deserved it (9500)
On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42885) - you deserved it (5541)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by oconron (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43873) - you deserved it (7190)
On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was presenting a powerpoint. As I plugged in the cord that connected my computer to the projector, I had forgotten what my boyfriend had set my desktop picture to the night before. I opened my laptop and projected on the wall was me nude. I go to Catholic school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18106) - you deserved it (47817)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by :D (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178117) - you deserved it (61490)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43327) - you deserved it (6318)
On 02/13/2009 at 4:57am - misc - by Yazzy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6962) - you deserved it (95899)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16811) - you deserved it (21888)
On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It was during medical school training on how to do a pelvic exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43555) - you deserved it (7837)
On 02/04/2009 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by medstudent (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (1896)
On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (1810)
On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16127) - you deserved it (536)
On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21185) - you deserved it (1678)
On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
