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code2264

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code2264
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1352
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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code2264's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (1830)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

#5954994
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28277) - you deserved it (4575)

On 10/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by wahwah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

#5938772
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14337) - you deserved it (5407)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (4296)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

#5289656
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9407) - you deserved it (64272)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28772) - you deserved it (2729)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (48870)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (1891)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (35605)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (20082)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (13022)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

#3973803
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50718) - you deserved it (7420)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

#3897679
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9275) - you deserved it (72981)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:54am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

#3882567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44188) - you deserved it (4702)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Churizmo - United States



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