code2264

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code2264

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1988
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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code2264's page activity

Visits<b>Takonas</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 8:55pm<b>jill97</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 8:33am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 5:11pm<b>snorgia</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Nerfherder69</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:14am<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:07pm<b>ChildRepellent</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 1:17am<b>hihello18</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 11:06pm<b>Wild_Marco</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 9:31am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 11:27pm<b>paintballwarrior</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:23pm<b>SkiPort</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 9:20am<b>XxwhosawesoMExX</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 6:13pm<b>zant396</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 2:49am<b>ethereallight</b> - the 11/05/2010 at 8:30pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/08/2010 at 8:57pm<b>Niaa</b> - the 10/08/2010 at 5:37pm

Fucked!<b>Takonas</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 2:55am

code2264's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

code2264's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

by ForgottenKid / 11/06/2009 at 1:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

by wahwah / 10/23/2009 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

by ItsFunnyNow / 10/22/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

by hamster cookie / 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm / Kids

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

by nipped / 09/16/2009 at 9:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

by Sigh / 09/13/2009 at 8:42am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

by EyesOffMe / 09/07/2009 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

by Embarassed / 08/30/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

by Butterflyguy / 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Animals

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2009 at 7:13am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

by Chelsea / 07/20/2009 at 1:54am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

by Churizmo / 07/19/2009 at 2:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous