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Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (5004)
On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (30659)
On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I cycled past a group of middle school kids. They decided that they should all start shouting "FAT ALERT" while ringing the bells on their bikes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (5097)
On 07/20/2010 at 9:57pm - health - by fattysonparade (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6773) - you deserved it (34488)
On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6598) - you deserved it (18845)
On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States
Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45673) - you deserved it (2036)
Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22545) - you deserved it (5521)
On 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm - misc - by LynnJ (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13115) - you deserved it (30800)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25111) - you deserved it (2250)
On 01/15/2010 at 2:56am - kids - by iKaite (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15211) - you deserved it (3164)
On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (3153)
On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (3595)
On 01/01/2010 at 9:12am - kids - by andy - United States (New York)
Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4522) - you deserved it (32504)
On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (1918)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (4178)
On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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