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code2264

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code2264
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1350
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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code2264's favorite FMLs

Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

#13900927
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (6152)

On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16548) - you deserved it (40053)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I cycled past a group of middle school kids. They decided that they should all start shouting "FAT ALERT" while ringing the bells on their bikes. FML

#12011441
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (6162)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:57pm - health - by fattysonparade (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (44871)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML

#8698914
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8717) - you deserved it (26165)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50979) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML

#7916627
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23052) - you deserved it (5572)

On 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm - misc - by LynnJ (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15587) - you deserved it (39859)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18765) - you deserved it (4115)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (3172)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

#7079219
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29182) - you deserved it (3947)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:12am - kids - by andy - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML

#6724461
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5785) - you deserved it (41504)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

#6354793
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (2336)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

#6186656
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23005) - you deserved it (4632)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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