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About coco666maggot : O.o"
Fuck off..I'm not going to describe myself.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (2441)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)
Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (58904) - you deserved it (2586)
On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29708) - you deserved it (7725)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11976) - you deserved it (34857)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4580) - you deserved it (33702)
On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (4236) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26094) - you deserved it (1891)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22540) - you deserved it (5756)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21528) - you deserved it (3645)
On 12/10/2010 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23787) - you deserved it (3327)
On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47760) - you deserved it (8177)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12323) - you deserved it (23473)
On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6736) - you deserved it (27567)
On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5083) - you deserved it (32452)
On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)
Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (16178)
On 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
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