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cocainewhore

Offline (the 12/27/2013 at 10:33pm) | Search for a member

cocainewhore

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1454
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About cocainewhore : Heavy fucking metal.
Engaged.

cocainewhore's page activity

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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cocainewhore's favorite FMLs

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (3417)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20564) - you deserved it (6626)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (5054)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (4091)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45903) - you deserved it (1567)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3098) - you deserved it (16109)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25451) - you deserved it (40549)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39091) - you deserved it (5064)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44372) - you deserved it (5483)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (3287)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48659) - you deserved it (4312)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51260) - you deserved it (10120)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40977) - you deserved it (6366)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54268) - you deserved it (5119) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)



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