Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cocainewhore

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

cocainewhore

47Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10816
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About cocainewhore : Heavy fucking metal.

cocainewhore's page activity

Visits<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:04pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:36pm<b>lightning20</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:04pm<b>BstMode</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:45pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:28pm<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:41am<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 2:30am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:17pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 2:46pm<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:43pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 11:07pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:12pm<b>hasooon</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:20pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 12:42am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:35pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 1:01pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 9:14am<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:42am

Fucked!<b>apcsox</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 5:07am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:59am<b>Mons</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:14am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 9:15pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 4:32pm<b>lexred</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:59pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 6:48pm<b>Noob64</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 7:33am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:55am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:00am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 12:16am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 3:26pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:53pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 2:50am<b>Holijust</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 10:48pm<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:28am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:08am

cocainewhore's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of cocainewhore's badges

cocainewhore's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were goofing off playing tag behind the local church, when I heard a banshee-like wail behind me. Assuming it was one of my friends, I wailed right back and ran. Turned out there was actually a funeral going on, and the wail was from one of the bereaved. FML

#21520005
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17367) - you deserved it (7031)

On 01/27/2016 at 8:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML

#21517034
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18746) - you deserved it (3184)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:53pm - misc - by blah - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19231) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four month old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML

#21513493
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20617) - you deserved it (1409)

On 01/10/2016 at 8:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the person I was driving behind put their car in reverse and backed straight into me. I was then yelled at and told, "I had my reversing lights on! Why didn't you move?!" FML

#21513365
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22379) - you deserved it (1622)

On 01/09/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by Brayden - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28354) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, my dad sat me and my sister down and give us a "talk". More like an angry irrational rant. He forbade us from being gay, marrying a Muslim or a black person, demanded kids from both of us, and threatened to disown us if we didn't. Where's my free will? FML

#21511511
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (2013)

On 01/04/2016 at 7:21pm - misc - by this is impossible (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

#21508071
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21930) - you deserved it (1962)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm - money - by buttfingers (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML

#21504961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (1456)

On 12/17/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went for a soak in a mineral hot pool to relax after a stressful day teaching middle school. There were 120 middle schoolers there on a school trip. FML

#21504328
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23815) - you deserved it (1886)

On 12/16/2015 at 4:10am - kids - by Teacher (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, my step mom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a step mom. FML

#21502978
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22969) - you deserved it (1966)

On 12/12/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

#21502268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (2883)

On 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by pregnantapparently (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer asked me for "gluten free milk". When I told her that most milk is gluten free, she flew into a fit of rage and cussed me out for being a "cheeky bitch". My manager then lectured me about not being "patronising" to customers. FML

#21502119
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21079) - you deserved it (2499)

On 12/10/2015 at 12:29am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mother found out I published a book. She demanded that I pay her all my royalties as repayment for her raising me. FML

#21499372
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21436) - you deserved it (1347)

On 12/02/2015 at 5:18pm - money - by Notfamous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: