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cobra_comm's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
cobra_comm's favorite FMLs
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
by thatisfuckedup / 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm / India (Maharashtra) / Love
by not the cook / 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML
by purged / 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML
by MonsterInLaw / 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
by what the fuck / 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML
by anew27 / 06/07/2013 at 1:48am / United States / Animals
by :( / 06/06/2013 at 7:37pm / United States / Work
Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML
by luciazee / 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm / Peru (Lima) / Miscellaneous
by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy
- Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, at 16, I had my first swimming lesson. I have to do it for physiotherapy and really didn't…