Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cobra_comm

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

cobra_comm

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4663
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cobra_comm's page activity

Visits<b>Tankkiller308</b> - yesterday at 10:39pm<b>izzy03281</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:17pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 5:44pm<b>free_a_nipper</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 4:03am<b>umad12345</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:17am<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 2:08am<b>josh8215</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 3:05am<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 10:49am<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:24pm

cobra_comm's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cobra_comm's badges

cobra_comm's favorite FMLs

TODAY, I REALISD THAT I CAN TELL 6 CATS APART BY THE SOUND OF THERE PAWS ON THE CARPET. I THINK I NED FRIENDS. FML

#20803453
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44581) - you deserved it (8834)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peieng on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out an call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower!! FML

#20801125
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52188) - you deserved it (5925)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blame it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused because I'm not sexy enough.

#20800901
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62101) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

2day mah doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts fir hours looool after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67762) - you deserved it (4001)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

TODAY, MAH HUSBAND WAS CHASED OUT OF A BAR AFTER HE WAS SEEN SLIPPING SOMETHING INTO A WOMAN'S DRINK. I WAS THE WOMAN, THE 'SOMETHING' WAS ASPIRIN, AND THAT'S THE LAST TIME WE EVER TRY TO ROLE-PLAY. FML

#20798724
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50173) - you deserved it (28038)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessd to being broke, then actually askd if he could pay me with sex instead . FML

#20797604
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52616) - you deserved it (3990)

On 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by nowimbroketoo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while arguing with mah newly ex-grlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really" !! FML

#20796093
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42700) - you deserved it (3441)

On 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today I was babysitting a littla boy fir tha first tima . Ha kapt using all sorts of profanity toward ma tha whola avaning so I told his mom whan sha pickad him up . Sha just gruntad and muttarad "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." big fat FML

#20794280
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55476) - you deserved it (4670)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

today at work, a woman came up to the snack bar an orderd a pretzel with no salt. When I servd her the food, she angrily complaind about it having no salt, followd by her throwing thehole thing in mah face. fat FML

#20794141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47063) - you deserved it (3185)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THE CUSTOMER (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, friends took work laptop and changd the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you ned to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54925) - you deserved it (6353)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today I cummed home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52766) - you deserved it (8987)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT MY "WONDERFUL" BOYFRIEND WAS RECENTLY DUMPED BY ANOTHER WOMAN, NOT JUST AFTER HE STARTED STALKING HER, BUT AFTER HE WROTE HER A LOVE LETTER IN HIS OWN BLOOD. FML

#20792358
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50333) - you deserved it (3702)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

today my grlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30197) - you deserved it (50940)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, aftar mora than six yaars of working mah ass off, I finally summonad tha couraga to ask mah boss fir a raisa. Sha just chucklad, "I'm gonna naad u to aat a dick, John." and starad at ma unblinking until I awkwardly laft. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46718) - you deserved it (3809)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

TODAY,HILE LYING IN BED, BOYFRIEND BEGAN TO STROKE NOSE. ( YOU CAN PICK YUR GIRLFRIEND, BUT U CAN'T PICK YUR GIRLFRIEND'S NOSE, ) I SAID PLAYFULLY. IN RESPONSE, HE SHOUTED ( YES, I CAN! ) BEFORE PAINFULLY JAMMING HIS PINKY UP LEFT NOSTRIL. REAL FML

#20789918
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39185) - you deserved it (13737)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: