cnewton84

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cnewton84

18Fucked!

cnewton84
  • Town/Country : Cincinnati, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 May 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2210
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cnewton84 : 17, I like pizza

cnewton84's page activity

Visits<b>burgermike92</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 2:19pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:46pm<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 8:20am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 6:13pm<b>olliebush123</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:21pm<b>v4valour</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 3:56pm<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 2:52pm<b>RickySleeves</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 12:02am<b>hunter1019</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:56pm<b>mtfast</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 7:50pm<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 7:29pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:18pm<b>serrentinoj</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 4:18pm<b>Jared27</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 3:26pm<b>emo_and_supreme</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 3:16pm<b>fmlanneke</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 3:09pm<b>oldskoolfun</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 1:12pm<b>abbs24</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 12:27pm

Fucked!<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 3:04am<b>shanewh40</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 12:18am<b>brittney242</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:36am<b>ladycryptic</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:03am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:42am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:06am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:41am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:30am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:45pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:25pm<b>skye147</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:45pm<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:22am<b>murphyb765</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:02am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Googleimages</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:54pm<b>my3words</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:11pm

cnewton84's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of cnewton84's badges

cnewton84's favorite FMLs

Today, I got really horny during a 10 hour shift, so I snuck into a storage room and relieved myself. Then as I went to leave the room, I noticed the security camera above the door. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 3:29am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

by Asian / 02/07/2016 at 2:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

by notagoodtime / 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

by Spooderman / 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm / United States / Kids

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

by lambeaster / 01/20/2016 at 9:27am / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

by Bex98 / 01/11/2016 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

by ywouldudomelikethat / 01/03/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad why the Wi-fi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML

by horno / 12/02/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

by anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm / Switzerland (Zug) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

by anonymous / 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm / Netherlands / Health