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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 May 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1416
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cnewton84 : 17, I like pizza

cnewton84's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:28am<b>skye147</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 1:23am<b>taranoelr</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:26pm<b>melons</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:34am<b>dpKordes</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:58am<b>nicolemf4</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 11:13pm<b>ladycryptic</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:30pm<b>jgwyh</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 11:46pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:55pm<b>Apparentlyacunt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:41pm<b>tiffanyxiao06</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:36pm<b>AmeliaTxxx</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 5:56pm<b>whoopydoodah</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 4:46pm<b>intimate_couple</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:24pm<b>paperbag77</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:02pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:32am<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 8:16am<b>Livin_Like_Larry</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 7:43am

Fucked!<b>brittney242</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:36am<b>ladycryptic</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:03am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:42am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:06am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:41am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:30am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:45pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:25pm<b>skye147</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:45pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:10am<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:22am<b>murphyb765</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:02am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Googleimages</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:54pm<b>my3words</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:11pm

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cnewton84's favorite FMLs

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17862) - you deserved it (1816)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25146) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12755) - you deserved it (26307)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by friendless1004 - United States (California)

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20172) - you deserved it (1704)

On 11/05/2015 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26647) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/21/2015 at 8:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, two women came into my place of work, complaining loudly that they couldn't afford a £3 course fee because they didn't have any money to spend on themselves. They were holding large Starbucks coffees. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21437) - you deserved it (1328)

On 10/20/2015 at 9:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (1836)

On 10/07/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by T-Bear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22122) - you deserved it (11421)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sitting outside in a pair of shorts. After about 15 minutes of getting weird looks from people, I realized my cock was sticking out of a hole that wasn't in my shorts when I put them on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (4902)

On 10/02/2015 at 10:22am - misc - by soulaar - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (2751)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by EverettA - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came to work with a huge hangover after a night out. I work as a marching band director, and guess who I had to conduct a sectional with? That's right, percussion. My head still hasn't stopped throbbing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11768) - you deserved it (26156)

On 09/04/2015 at 9:25pm - work - by oww - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14267) - you deserved it (12827)

On 08/23/2015 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML


Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (1785)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

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