About cnbcad : I like to ride my Harley, shoot and play chess. My wife just passed away and I spend most of my time in this huge house alone. Message me if you like.
cnbcad's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
cnbcad's favorite FMLs
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by monkers / 10/06/2012 at 3:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML
by humorizer / 09/12/2012 at 4:44am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML
by DeeGirlMon / 08/03/2012 at 1:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by ouch / 06/14/2012 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
by jcdc / 05/20/2012 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML
by kemando / 10/06/2011 at 6:20am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML
by iprobablyhaveherpes / 10/20/2010 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 12:59am / United States (Florida) / Work
by roflcopter / 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/31/2010 at 11:03am / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML
by ick / 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by BadGirlfriend12 / 07/29/2010 at 10:29pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…