cnbcad

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Offline (the 05/24/2016 at 11:14pm)

cnbcad

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 August 1963 (52 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1991
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cnbcad : I like to ride my Harley, shoot and play chess. My wife just passed away and I spend most of my time in this huge house alone. Message me if you like.

cnbcad's page activity

Visits<b>katyviper</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 7:34am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 12:02pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 12:22pm<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:19am<b>Mons</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 11:03pm<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 6:52am<b>NippyGee</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:29pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:21am<b>toasted1</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:05am<b>Tyler1128</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:00pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:52pm<b>DumbAndYoung</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:17am<b>pizzas_awesome</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:07am<b>Timmy1228</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:02pm<b>kty93</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:32pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Cristinaaa027</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:06pm<b>EvilLittleGirl</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:46pm

Fucked!<b>Mons</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:03am<b>Mina_N</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:48pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 7:30pm<b>himwhomlaughs</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:29pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 7:55pm

cnbcad's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cnbcad's badges

cnbcad's favorite FMLs

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

by monkers / 10/06/2012 at 3:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML

by humorizer / 09/12/2012 at 4:44am / United States (Texas) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML

by DeeGirlMon / 08/03/2012 at 1:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

by ouch / 06/14/2012 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

by jcdc / 05/20/2012 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

by Username / 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

by iprobablyhaveherpes / 10/20/2010 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 12:59am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

by roflcopter / 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2010 at 11:03am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

by ick / 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend actually offered me $1000 to break up with him, and to move back to where my family lives 5 hours away. FML

by BadGirlfriend12 / 07/29/2010 at 10:29pm / United States / Love