Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cnbcad

Offline (the 08/12/2015 at 12:39am) | Search for a member

cnbcad

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1278
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cnbcad : I like to ride my Harley, shoot and play chess.

cnbcad's page activity

Visits<b>CheshireHalli</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:15am<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 5:57pm<b>cedougher</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:06pm<b>pinque</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:51pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:18pm<b>GIJoeFan</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 12:22am<b>himwhomlaughs</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:28pm<b>johnnynumnuts</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:01pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:57am<b>charliedee</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:59pm<b>P_B683</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:26pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:49am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:04pm<b>hondaguyy</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:22am<b>marionmia</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 6:38am<b>MissEris</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:12pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:10pm<b>nphill82</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:42pm

Fucked!<b>himwhomlaughs</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:29pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 7:55pm

cnbcad's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of cnbcad's badges

cnbcad's favorite FMLs

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I sat on an unopened folding chair to avoid the effort of opening it up. FML

#20587700
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15215) - you deserved it (95949)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by mets300 - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML

#20561553
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35376) - you deserved it (2301)

On 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm - money - by arsenicalhumor (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

#20487332
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16248) - you deserved it (39997)

On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (2543)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (39630)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60621) - you deserved it (6963)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (7220)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26094) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (1799)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8338) - you deserved it (18955)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

#20162265
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8023) - you deserved it (28827)

On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (3630)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28346) - you deserved it (2050)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29720) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: