Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cnbcad

Offline (the 05/07/2015 at 2:21pm) | Search for a member

cnbcad

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1183
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cnbcad : I like to ride my Harley, shoot and play chess.

cnbcad's page activity

Visits<b>pinque</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:51pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:18pm<b>GIJoeFan</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 12:22am<b>cedougher</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:09pm<b>himwhomlaughs</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:28pm<b>johnnynumnuts</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:01pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:57am<b>charliedee</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:59pm<b>P_B683</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:26pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:49am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:04pm<b>hondaguyy</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:22am<b>marionmia</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 6:38am<b>MissEris</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:12pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:10pm<b>nphill82</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:33am<b>iWallace</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 2:14am

Fucked!<b>himwhomlaughs</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:29pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 7:55pm

cnbcad's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of cnbcad's badges

cnbcad's favorite FMLs

Today, after being forced to take my little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML

Today, my boyfriend sent me a nude picture. I would have been fine with it if he hadn't taken it in his ex-girlfriend's room. FML

#20925937
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55023) - you deserved it (4406)

On 10/19/2013 at 1:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (40792)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46119) - you deserved it (6324)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40052) - you deserved it (3304)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47031) - you deserved it (6545)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48250) - you deserved it (3075)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (24635)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40326) - you deserved it (8016)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47948) - you deserved it (2609)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22347) - you deserved it (65700)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

#20832201
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42791) - you deserved it (6156)

On 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm - misc - by just about pissed off (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47713) - you deserved it (17807)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

#20786008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35613) - you deserved it (6825)

On 07/16/2013 at 8:01am - misc - by muffin (woman) - Austria



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: