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Offline (the 10/08/2016 at 4:56pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1598
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cmw3 : 🔹Caitlin

cmw3's page activity

Visits<b>Patriots21</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 6:50am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 11:57am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 8:56am<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 2:50pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 11:55pm<b>Teyros</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 7:27pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 7:21pm<b>Generalleroy</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 6:49pm<b>Blacktiger7221</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 10:00pm<b>Trace01m</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 2:39am<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:22pm<b>thinlinetele</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 2:58pm<b>BlueAlpaca</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:17pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 9:42am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 7:24am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 7:31pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 11:35pm<b>rabidgardengnome</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 12:43am

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 5:30pm<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 1:31am<b>fastman19</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 5:35am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:06pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 4:37am<b>Twigman8</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:54am<b>dk1991</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:06pm

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cmw3's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

by Jamestown of Vagina / 09/13/2014 at 10:36am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

by Diachronic / 09/12/2014 at 4:05am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

by PerfectVision / 09/11/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

by lolwut / 09/11/2014 at 2:33am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

by leastitwasntsurpriseanal / 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

by hopeless romantic / 08/14/2014 at 11:06am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

by porkabye / 08/02/2014 at 7:44pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

by fredfredburger / 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

by pierced. / 06/25/2014 at 12:29am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

by massachusettsan / 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

by DJJayLee / 06/23/2014 at 1:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

by Axelerate / 06/21/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Nevada) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. / 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

by fuckmyjob / 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work