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cmbhunter

Offline (the 03/05/2015 at 4:30am) | Search for a member

cmbhunter

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 177
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About cmbhunter : I love to play the violin. I love to listen to rock music like five finger death punch but I am also partial to some occasional dubstep. I love animals and had the chance to raise an abandoned squirrel. :)

cmbhunter's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of cmbhunter's badges

cmbhunter's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54239) - you deserved it (7399)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

#21096245
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22866) - you deserved it (52263)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by testacular (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50611) - you deserved it (9883)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44223) - you deserved it (6241)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52439) - you deserved it (10343)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." 5ML

#21038360
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49225) - you deserved it (12530)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41091) - you deserved it (22551)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50892) - you deserved it (7920)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (18040)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44454) - you deserved it (10720)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

#17068940
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28637) - you deserved it (22997)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by tony456 (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35124) - you deserved it (3739)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

#8268045
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18401) - you deserved it (3578)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)



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