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cmat84

Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 4:42am) | Search for a member

cmat84

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  • Number of visits : 340
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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cmat84's page activity

Visits<b>woosah</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 12:33am

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cmat84's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (15980)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (5627)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46200) - you deserved it (3163)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (51171)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44074) - you deserved it (6860)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47398) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

#21229021
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42439) - you deserved it (4182)

On 08/04/2014 at 1:42am - health - by Ew?Really? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50481) - you deserved it (6616)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48102) - you deserved it (8257)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66817) - you deserved it (4943)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44112) - you deserved it (6505)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53022) - you deserved it (8389)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58436) - you deserved it (5674)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51130) - you deserved it (5027)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)



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