cmat84

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cmat84

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 January 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1995
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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cmat84's page activity

Visits<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:05pm<b>woosah</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 12:33am

cmat84's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cmat84's badges

cmat84's favorite FMLs

Today, it has been my lifelong dream to work with animals. My dream sorta came true. I now work at the slaughterhouse. FML

by BaconGirl / 07/08/2016 at 2:00am / Work

Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 2:24pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my husband cheated on me. In my house. While I was home. FML

by Why / 04/24/2016 at 2:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

by Hormones apparently / 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents I don't really like children and probably won't have any in the future. They sat me down and gave me a lecture on how people who hate kids are heartless. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:30pm / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Kids

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his parents' house when things started getting hot. Out of respect, we stopped and just cuddled, making us able to hear his parents banging. FML

by ph2222 / 10/05/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 3:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, to prove that my girlfriend is a "total skank", my best friend seduced her and showed me the video he secretly filmed of it. FML

by YES I MEAN *EX* GIRLFRIEND / 08/17/2015 at 4:14pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom died when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered "Women drivers." FML

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

by Smeagogole / 07/02/2015 at 12:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

by betterthanhodor / 06/03/2015 at 11:46am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2015 at 9:47am / United States / Health