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  • Number of visits : 314
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cm3298's FML badges

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cm3298's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

by oops999 / 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

by barebackingit / 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

by Beth / 04/28/2013 at 9:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

by AmberHavoc / 01/02/2013 at 10:01am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, after volleyball practice, I noticed my pants were missing. Now I have to go to work wearing spandex bottoms, all because one of my teammates is a thieving douche. FML

by Rimmy Jobs / 08/21/2012 at 12:39pm / United States / Work

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

by ouch / 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

by youjustsuck / 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy