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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52543) - you deserved it (6420)
On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56313) - you deserved it (6402)
On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55611) - you deserved it (19668)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by fmlsrsly (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (64057)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89608) - you deserved it (5418)
On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71714) - you deserved it (4145)
On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18237) - you deserved it (50926)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)
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