clumsyme

Search for a member

clumsyme

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 August 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1124
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About clumsyme : I'm very clumsy. I'm some what smart in different areas. But i can be blond. I love to read.

clumsyme's page activity

Visits<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:08pm<b>DizzyDemon0</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 2:05pm<b>JENNYPANTS13</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 1:21pm<b>iheartpeace</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 9:25am<b>Ineffableturtle</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 12:27am<b>math_ninja</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 4:00pm<b>lolita215</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 5:57am<b>ISandra</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 9:07pm<b>ThatDudeYouKnow</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 9:19pm<b>mistakenlove</b> - the 04/15/2009 at 11:58pm

clumsyme's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

clumsyme's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2009 at 10:18am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

by vela9002 / 04/06/2009 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML

by Nottheprettylady / 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML

by sadgf / 03/29/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

by dumpedattheclub / 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

by Creep / 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

by HughGorgy / 03/20/2009 at 1:37am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy