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About clumsyme : I'm very clumsy. I'm some what smart in different areas. But i can be blond. I love to read.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39168) - you deserved it (11118)
On 04/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (115416)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54690) - you deserved it (8369)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:40am - love - by vela9002 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29855) - you deserved it (62961)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53253) - you deserved it (2224)
On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML
I agree, your life sucks (64475) - you deserved it (3831)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:41pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55437) - you deserved it (105191)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51239) - you deserved it (5031)
On 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm - love - by dumpedattheclub (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (8446) - you deserved it (91494)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80166) - you deserved it (3222)
On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45391) - you deserved it (372674)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37636) - you deserved it (431061)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10876) - you deserved it (73054)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by HughGorgy (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27973) - you deserved it (70836)
On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (136804)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
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