![[fr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you deserved it (1733)
On 02/22/2010 at 4:13pm - misc - by condiments - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, before going to bed my phone lit up and I got all excited because I thought it was a text message. My phone was finished charging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (32625)
On 05/03/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by nolove (woman) - Canada
Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50367) - you deserved it (2606)
On 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by fuckerman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36910) - you deserved it (22553)
On 04/14/2009 at 12:44am - love - by dramaqueen (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (104332) - you deserved it (7256)
On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)
Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84113) - you deserved it (10629)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States
Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68993) - you deserved it (3701)
On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7991) - you deserved it (54011)
On 04/09/2009 at 10:40pm - health - by clublulu (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (136804)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (225422)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (373034) - you deserved it (413117)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37278) - you deserved it (116466)
On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44502) - you deserved it (517663)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
