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cloudygirl5's favorite FMLs
by forever alone / 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Love
by blanknameisblank / 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML
by Shady_Soldier / 10/31/2013 at 4:41am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love
by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous
by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals
by whatever / 11/24/2012 at 2:02am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
by Ice cold / 11/22/2012 at 12:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML
by ausmill12 / 11/19/2012 at 1:18am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML
by Gangnam / 11/16/2012 at 10:52am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, while having sex, I tried to kick the blanket over my feet and kneed myself in the face. FML Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my… Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I…