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clixed

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clixed

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 199
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About clixed : 25% responsive, 75% absent minded xD

clixed's page activity

Visits<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 4:08am<b>winston_salem</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:28am<b>rom_rider777</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Gitana_08</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 9:06pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 8:08pm<b>ashleee43</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 7:47pm<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 7:27pm

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clixed's favorite FMLs

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44604) - you deserved it (4173)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML

#20705382
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39921) - you deserved it (10770)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm - animals - by drkate25 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

#20703976
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45140) - you deserved it (5136) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/03/2013 at 4:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59056) - you deserved it (5779)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69288) - you deserved it (4238)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65696) - you deserved it (18725)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48448) - you deserved it (4428)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49262) - you deserved it (11064)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40458) - you deserved it (5056)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (3148)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45539) - you deserved it (5912)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51702) - you deserved it (8565)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64629) - you deserved it (5954)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44455) - you deserved it (10921)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63914) - you deserved it (14058)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -



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