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clixed

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 166
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About clixed : 25% responsive, 75% absent minded xD

clixed's page activity

Visits<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 4:08am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:32pm<b>winston_salem</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:28am<b>rom_rider777</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Gitana_08</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 9:06pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 8:08pm<b>ashleee43</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 7:47pm<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 7:27pm

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clixed's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39170) - you deserved it (2906)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46426) - you deserved it (3653)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you deserved it (36460)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

#20866110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37392) - you deserved it (2355)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41416) - you deserved it (4590)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

#20863540
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44026) - you deserved it (3188)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44099) - you deserved it (3088)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24193) - you deserved it (62699)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44675) - you deserved it (8833)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

#20716353
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39520) - you deserved it (7184)

On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66709) - you deserved it (9220)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55020) - you deserved it (64138)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

#20707414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42806) - you deserved it (13806)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by SHIT-BREATH (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84121) - you deserved it (8041)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)



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