Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 8:18pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1612
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About claytwin : Howdy! I think Bronys are bizarre and they really creep me out.

claytwin's page activity

Visits<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 11:16pm<b>molly471</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:10pm<b>memed</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 3:40pm<b>Nevermore3</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 2:59pm<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:16pm<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:00pm<b>wildhorseman</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:47pm<b>Avenger225</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 2:04am<b>XOLucy_21XO</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:49pm<b>hooAhhh</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 4:29am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 3:27am<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:36pm<b>biggins224</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 10:05am<b>vikingchick</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:21am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:53am<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:05am<b>Chrriis</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 11:10am<b>Twisted_Killjoy</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 7:47pm

Fucked!<b>vikingchick</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:21am

claytwin's FML badges


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of claytwin's badges

claytwin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said "You got me wet" Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said" He replied "No really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17923) - you deserved it (38722)

On 08/05/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by drooler (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49274) - you deserved it (27625)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12080) - you deserved it (62470)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32852) - you deserved it (78895)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62902) - you deserved it (9701)

On 03/26/2009 at 10:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: