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claytwin

Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 8:18pm) | Search for a member

claytwin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1173
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About claytwin : Howdy! I think Bronys are bizarre and they really creep me out.

claytwin's page activity

Visits<b>batah</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:59pm<b>Nina1988</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:59am<b>blcusername</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:17pm<b>annoyed146578</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:01am<b>TUBBY1004</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 10:09am<b>pumboc</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 3:49am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:36pm<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:15pm<b>blakelastovica</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 12:36pm<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 11:51pm<b>MissyPants</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 6:10am<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 6:46pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:23am<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 9:40pm<b>Civilian</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 4:31am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 4:37pm<b>BumbleChick</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:03am<b>hopzebordah</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 11:07pm

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claytwin's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (7752)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44758) - you deserved it (4445)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44238) - you deserved it (20256)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21525) - you deserved it (6863)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30454) - you deserved it (2309)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8567) - you deserved it (65216)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

#19042129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (2342)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (5180) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12523) - you deserved it (75539)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32812) - you deserved it (3644)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

#13192437
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16428) - you deserved it (40645)

On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24706) - you deserved it (55497)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4610) - you deserved it (47602)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

#5677989
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9534) - you deserved it (32224)

On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)



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