Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

claycalv

Search for a member

claycalv

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1633
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

claycalv's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

claycalv's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I were in a hallway talking while a man kept walking by and turning around. I then asked him "WHAT are you LOOKING for!". It was a blind man. FML

#3202
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5805) - you deserved it (24080)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by wsumt - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

#2738
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6892) - you deserved it (61109)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58546) - you deserved it (7765)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7361) - you deserved it (26044)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole that dumped me last week. FML

#1869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19267) - you deserved it (4647)

On 01/20/2009 at 10:16am - work - by Heartbroken - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (5696)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

#1030
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19152) - you deserved it (2136)

On 01/13/2009 at 11:43am - work - by Plush - Sent from mobile version

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5747) - you deserved it (44366)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19758) - you deserved it (7936)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML

#896
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8758) - you deserved it (20944)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by Elizabeth - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

#814
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (2014)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by neoteck - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

#722
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14591) - you deserved it (7910)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

#396
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25626) - you deserved it (3271)

On 11/27/2008 at 12:30am - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: