Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

claycalv

Search for a member

claycalv

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1770
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

claycalv's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

claycalv's favorite FMLs

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

#2738
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6958) - you deserved it (61448)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59223) - you deserved it (7829)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7438) - you deserved it (26287)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole that dumped me last week. FML

#1869
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (4678)

On 01/20/2009 at 10:16am - work - by Heartbroken - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31178) - you deserved it (5719)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

#1030
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (2158)

On 01/13/2009 at 11:43am - work - by Plush - Sent from mobile version

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5819) - you deserved it (44737)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20006) - you deserved it (7963)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML

#896
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9443) - you deserved it (22555)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by Elizabeth - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

#814
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (2077)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by neoteck - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

#722
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14838) - you deserved it (7956)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

#396
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (3292)

On 11/27/2008 at 12:30am - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: